January 30, 2017

Busy Busy Busy

Mi Familia y Amigos,

This week was fabulous! We had a baptism, a multi-zone conference, a worldwide missionary conference, and we found a new family that is really positive!! I'm so happy!!!!!!! Every week I just feel so much more gratitude for my mission... the best time of my life! And oh hey, 10 months in the mission today! Over the hump... yeesh. 

This week I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be "worthy". At the end of the worldwide missionary conference, President Oaks told us that we are witnesses of Christ, and exhorted us to live up to that. It made me think about how I can "live up" to this calling as a missionary that I have been given. This calling to be a representative of Christ. The Lord works in mysterious ways, because all this week I had little mini experiences that provided the answers I was looking for. During Angel's baptism, we watched the Bible video of the baptism of Christ... It really stuck out to me John's reaction to the Savior's request. As it states in Matthew 3, John didn't want to baptize Christ and stated that he needed to be baptized of Christ, not the other way around. He didn't feel worthy. In my personal studies this morning, I also read in 2 Nephi 4 where Nephi laments over his sins and the natural man. He states, 

"17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: wretched man thaam! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
 18 am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because omy sins; nevertheless, knoin whom have trusted.
 20 My God hath been my supporthe hath led me through mine afflictions in the wildernessand he hath preserved me upothe waters of the great deep.
 21 He hath filled me with his loveeven unto the consuming of my flesh.
In both instances, these two  great men of God did not feel worthy of the call that they had been given. They felt weak, and uncapable. YET in both instances, the Lord showed them that they were worthy of his love. The Savior said to them, YES YOU ARE! As human beings, we have weaknesses. We stumble. We fall. But as Elder Bednar recently said, "Don't torment yourself". That doesn't mean that we shouldn't try, that we shouldn't be humble... it means Work hard, do your part, and trust in the Lord. Trust in his power. HE makes us more than we are. He makes us more than we are capable of becoming. You are worthy of his love, and you are worthy of his help. TRUST HIM. 
Well... I'm running out of time... but that was just something that I really loved this week... sorry if it doesn't make much sense haha. But I love you all and I hope you all have an absolutely fabulous week!!! 
Hermana Van Deusen

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